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Listening is an innate skill that we pick up as infants. Yet with all of the distractions we have in today's busy world, it is easy to lose focus when we should instead be engaged in conversation. Think about it. You come home from a long day and when your child is telling you a story about school your mind is still decompressing. Soon you hear the words, "Mom, you are not listening to me!"

Sure, you are listening to your child, but are you really listening to their words? Are you engaged in your conversation or are you distracted by the television, your other child or the sound your phone just made signaling that you have a new text? Perhaps you are thinking about not burning dinner or your to-do list. On the other hand, as parents, we know how frustrating it is when we are speaking to our children as they are focused on a show, video game or book and are only pretending to hear the words we are saying.

The same frustrations happen every day in the workplace. Are you really listening to your employees? Are your employees really listening to you? How is anything going to effectively get accomplished if the team is not listening to one another?

Listening is an important skill that is all too often taken for granted. Here are some tips for active listening:

Stop all unrelated activities before engaging in a conversation with someone. Turn down the volume or walk away from the other conversations so you will not be distracted.

Consider the subject of the discussion and quickly do a mental review of what you may already know about the subject. This will help you to keep your mind from wandering. You may also want to suggest that the conversation begins with a high level review of the topic.

Recognize your emotions and try to put them aside until after the conversation. If you simply cannot do so, consider acknowledging your emotional state to the person with whom you are speaking.

Focus your body towards the speaker. Face the person who is speaking and look him or her in the eyes.

Seek to understand what the speaker is saying to you. Try not to skip ahead or predict what the other person is going to say next.

Do not develop your responses while the other person is speaking.

Actively respond to the person with questions or reactions once he or she has finished. Do not interrupt as that is a clear sign that you are more concerned with what you have to ask than what the other person has to say.

Often it is helpful to summarize and paraphrase key points. This will confirm your understanding of the discussion and create a dialogue.

Listening is so much more than simply keeping your mouth closed. It is a sign of consideration and emotional intelligence. Whether you are having a conversation with your employer, employees or your family, active listening promotes mutual respect.

We all crave acknowledgement for our hard work and dedication. Without recognition, people feel that their work is going unnoticed. This makes them feel undervalued and unappreciated. In turn, they may become apathetic about their work moving forward. This cycle can create an unproductive work environment.

The need for respect is at the core of every person. In a survey conducted by my company, K HR Solutions, respondents indicated that more than money, more than tangible gifts and more than awards, people simply want their boss to approach them and let them know that they have done a good job. There is some confusion, however, about the best ways to recognize good work among your employees.

For many employees, the performance review is a conversation they dread. The main reason for this is that the employees’ expectations for the meeting are not met by their manager. As employees it is important to make sure that you take an active role in your performance. Following are some tips to help during the discussion with your manager.

Be well prepared and be ready to provide input - Review past performance review documents; compile key accomplishments you have made during the past year as well as what you have done to develop yourself. If your manager does not request you to provide him or her with input prior to your performance review discussion, then take the initative and send it to them directly.

Practice active listening - During the meeting, maintain good eye contact and positive (and non-defensive) body language. Listen to what your manager has to say and really be engaged in the conversation. Summarize where needed to ensure that you understand.

Ask questions for clarity - Don’t be afraid to ask your manager for examples or to provide more specifics. Remember, this is your meeting. You want to make sure you know and understand the key messages that are being conveyed to you.

Share responsibility and take ownership - Be ready and willing to ask for and receive support from your manager. Tell them what you need to be successful in your current position and to develop yourself for future ones. Also, explain to them what you will do yourself.

Agree upon next steps - This is a great way to wrap up the meeting. Review the next steps and ask to schedule a follow-up meeting. I suggest 2-3 weeks later so that you have each had time to reflect on the conversation and are prepared to discuss implementation of the action plans.

Using these tips can help turn the discussion into one that is valuable and effective. Take the time to plan and prepare for your performance review. You need to be an active participant in navigating your career.

Each year about this time employees participate in a Performance Review with their manager. The review is intended to provide the employee with feedback regarding their prior year’s performance against objectives. For many employees, the performance review is a conversation they dread. The main reason for this is that the employees’ expectations for the meeting are not met by their manager. Surprisingly, a large majority of managers are not well skilled nor are they comfortable with giving feedback and having effective performance discussions. This can have a significant impact on employee engagement and morale.

Use these tips to make the discussion as valuable as possible.

Be well prepared -managers should review notes from previous performance reviews and discussions, stakeholder feedback and employee self-assessments. Be prepared to provide specific examples regarding the employee's work activities.

Keep it private and positive - host the discussion in a quiet, private and comfortable environment.  Keep a positive tone throughout the conversation using good eye contact and body language.

Make it a two-way conversation - focus on making the conversation interactive and ask for the employee's feedback. Manager's should not do all of the talking.

Focus on strengths and identify areas of growth and opportunity - research has shown that employees are more likely to improve in their areas of strengths. Focus 80% of the discussion on strengths and 20% on growth areas. Pick one or two areas that the employee can develop. Then, seek agreement from the employee.

Offer support and agree upon next steps - the employee needs your support and guidance. Ask them how you can help them be successful. Plan a follow up meeting for 2-3 weeks later and discuss implementation and execution in the upcoming year.

Performance reviews don't have to be dreaded or difficult. You can make it a positive experience for both you and the employee by planning ahead and being prepared.

Check back next week for Employee Tips.

The generations in today’s workplace are different and those differences can be a source of great opportunity. Leverage your team’s strengths by doing a careful examination of your team. To do so, use the following four steps:

Observe
Spend time personally observing your staff. Find out which types of projects your employees want to work. Discover where they are applying extra effort. Listen to the issues or topics they bring up. By observing them you may just discover their power and their passion.

Ask
Don’t try to guess a person’s strengths. Ask them what they perceive their own strengths to be and find out if they think those strengths are being fully utilized. In most circumstances, individuals know their own strengths better than anyone else.

Focus
Having discovered what each person’s strengths are, it is also vital to then focus on leveraging those strengths. Too often, managers focus on what they think employees should be doing better. You will never turn weaknesses into strengths so focusing on the strengths will inspire and motivate.

Identify
Find the projects, opportunities and assignments which utilize each person’s key strengths. Try to funnel work to your team based on the tasks which will leverage their passion and their power.

With these steps in mind, ask yourself if you know each of your employees’ strengths and how you can leverage the generational strengths on your team. Think about what opportunities you can create for your employees to exercise their power and their passion. If you do so, your team will be energized with excitement and engagement at every level. Innovation will flourish. Team dynamics will improve and productivity will soar.

Do you want to know the one common effect of all company problems? Problems cost companies a most valuable commodity – time. When there is a misunderstanding, miscommunication or employee conflict, you lose time sorting out the issues. When a good employee leaves the company, you lose time hiring a new person and bringing them up to speed. When motivation and productivity slacks, you lose time trying to get your employees back on track.

Getting to know your employees on a personal level can prevent company problems from arising in the first place, saving you that valuable commodity of time.
So, how can you get some time back? Here are a few suggestions:

• Block out one hour each week to let your staff know that you are available to them. Use that hour to get in touch with your team, to talk to them on a personal level.

• Use team huddles. Gather your team for a set amount of time each week to share what projects they are working on and how the team can help each other achieve their goals.

• Solicit feedback from your team on a regular basis. Ask open-ended questions. Invite their inquiries and participation.

• Perform post-mortems on projects, especially those which experienced problems. Ask participants for their thoughts on how it went and develop a plan to avoid duplicating mistakes in the future.

Give these suggestions a try and you will experience more team unity and greater levels of engagement. You have to get to know your people. So, spend the time to save the time.

To put it simply, today’s leaders need to motivate their employees and change their styles to meet the needs of those employees. It may be a tall order, but it is vital to the success of the organization.

There is no shortcut to getting to know your employees and some leaders may find this uncomfortable. After all, it was not that long ago when managers were trained to keep their employees at arm’s length.

In today’s workplace, however, employees expect their managers to know about them on a personal level, to understand what motivates them at work. It is about relationship building.

You can begin by asking yourself how well you know your employees. Rate your knowledge of each person on a scale of one to five with one as not having a clue how the employee thinks and five being a clear understanding of what makes that person tick. Once you have completed that step, ask yourself what practical steps you can take to get to know the people who you rated on the lower end of the scale.

Strong leaders not only get to know their employees but they also do something about it. As a leader, you play the prime role in letting your employees know that they are cared for and supported. You are the person who is most responsible for creating a culture of engagement. Yes, your employees are responsible for their actions but they will take clues from you as a leader.

Each generation deals with authority quite differently. As you get to know the people in your office better, on a more personal level and become comfortable flexing your style, you will also be able to make excellent judgment calls on how to treat people whom you don’t know on the basis of that person’s generation.

So, get to know your employees, grasp how they think and work and act on their preferences. Soon you will notice a more unified, efficient and motivated team emerging.

One of the primary tasks as a leader in the workplace is to inspire and motivate the people working for you. This means that you will need to partner actively with your employees and delegate responsibilities consistently. Here are six tips to keep your team inspired and motivated in their roles:

1. Be passionate. Your staff will always take their cues from you. If you are excited and enthusiastic, you will inspire your team to feel the same way. Always remember that as the leader you set the standard.

2. Keep their eyes on the prize. Clearly state and then reiterate the results you anticipate from your staff to consistently keep them motivated. Leverage each person’s strengths whenever possible.

3. Encourage a proper perspective. Celebrate small victories along the way while keeping them focused on the finish line. Always assume good intent and use verbal recognition to show your respect.

4. Build momentum for change when it is necessary. It’s easy to start strong and then start to see enthusiasm wane. To counter this, put a plan in place to realize the changes you want made and keep pushing each new phase forward to build and maintain momentum.

5. Match your walk to your talk. Too many times, companies declare a need for change but then take no active role in making it happen. Provide your staff with time, resources and feedback. Be fully committed. Be willing to learn and grow through the change.

6. Demonstrate respect for your staff. At our very core, we all want respect. Show your team that they are needed and valued. Solicit their input. Express to them that their concerns are heard and their recommendations welcome.

In the business world we live in today, employees are placing high demands on companies, particularly on leaders. As you implement these tips take notice of how productivity, retention, performance, teamwork and communication all dramatically improve.

Can you relate to the recently released movie, Horrible Bosses? Let’s face it. With unemployment still staggeringly high, many Americans have no choice but to deal with a horrible boss. According to a survey from OfficeTeam, a California-based staffing service, nearly half of the workers polled complained about having worked for "unreasonable bosses."

Here are some real life telltale signs of a horrible boss:

• The Micromanager has difficulty with delegating and is constantly double-checking employees’ work just to make sure it is being done to their satisfaction. A Micromanager pays excessive attention to minor details. These bosses are unable to develop other people because of their own need to be in control.
• The Poor Communicator offers little or no direction, forcing employees to guess what this boss wants. This lack of clear direction or expectations leads to frustration and lower productivity levels for both the employee and the supervisor.
• The Bully feels that intimidation is going to gets results. Bullies have a tendency to lose their cool with employees. They have a “their way or the highway” type of attitude and are easily dissatisfied with their employees.
• The Saboteur is one of the worst types of leader because they take credit from employees when it benefits them. On the other hand, if things go wrong, the Saboteur is quick to place blame an employee. As a result, Saboteur’s employees usually wind up feeling taken advantage of and unmotivated.
• The Emotional Wreck has a tendency to flip-flop in attitudes towards employees, whereby one moment everything seems fine and the next moment the employee can do nothing right. Employees are never sure what to expect in the workplace and ends up “walking on eggshells,” which causes employees undue stress.

In these economic times, many employees have no choice but to stick it out with a horrible boss. In fact, over half (59%) of those who said that they have a horrible boss stayed in their jobs, according to the OfficeTeam study.

Yet Leaders are the people who need to wholeheartedly embrace the changes necessary to take advantage of the strengths of employees, despite their own inherent methods of managing others. If leaders can actively partner with employees and delegate responsibilities effectively they will empower employees with the opportunities and resources necessary to utilize their strengths.

The “ideal” man of today is both a deeply involved family man and a truly dedicated employee, according to results of the Family & Work Institute's National Study of the Changing Workforce.

Today’s “ideal” men feel more of a conflict between family and the workplace; a strain which did not exist to the same extent previously. Men who still believe in traditional gender roles may feel out of touch in today’s family-centric world while those who are family-centric may feel that their workplace does not accommodate their lives. Interestingly, the same levels of conflict were present regardless of whether a spouse’s salary is lower, higher or equal to the man’s salary.

Not surprisingly, the more time a man spends working, the more he has a potential for feeling conflicted between work and family. This internal conflict is enhanced by technology, as there are many more ways for work to be handled outside of traditional office hours. These advancements have softened the line between work time and family time, perhaps creating additional stress for the “ideal” man.

The study shows that men who tend to make work a priority over family (those in more traditional values) are more likely to feel this work-family conflict than men who put family of equal or greater priority. Let me be clear that this is not implying that men with traditional values love their work more than their family, nor does it imply that those with more egalitarian values are not interested in having successful careers. Those with more traditional values may just feel added stress of maintaining their place on the corporate ladder while also being present at home.

Three in four fathers feel that they do not have enough time to spend with their children, and their conflicts vary by the age of the children. Not surprisingly, fathers of very young children and fathers of teenagers are more likely to feel conflicted, as those tend to be the most pivotal and trying times for a parent.

So, what can companies do to with this knowledge about the new male mystique? I believe that the key is getting to know your employees on a personal level to find out what they need and expect at work. The study shows that there are two items which would make a significant difference to men in today’s workplace. First is the ability to engage in a conversation with supervisors about family issues without being looked down upon. The second is the option for workplace flexibility without being perceived as a sign that employees are more focused on their personal life and less committed to their job. What we have learned from this study is that work-family conflict is as much a men’s issue as it is a women’s issue.

Workplace culture needs to signal that it is safe for men to be open about their conflicts without harming their opportunities for advancement. By recognizing societal and cultural changes, strong leaders can build up strong employees by leveraging their strengths and respecting their choices rather draining them and letting them down.